We often make the mistake of attributing confidence to a person’s innate nature. That is to say, you’re either born confident or built with a lower sense of self-worth. We won’t castigate the idea that confidence hinges on a person’s upbringing, personality or stance on life, we would instead frown at the thought that none of it can be changed. It’s not true. In the 21st century, there are lots of habits hurting your confidence that play a role in the level of confidence a person exhibits. A major say in our self-esteem is the habits that we inculcate.
It is not uncommon for our habits, even the ones unnoticeable, to shape our sense of self-worth, and of course, confidence. What’s worse, we may not even know the cause of our decreasing confidence. Too often we breeze through life with routine behaviors that are detrimental to our mental health. Your confidence is the key to a whole new world of positivism. To get your self-esteem to optimum levels, you need to identify those habits that are subconsciously hurting your confidence.
Here are 5 of the most dangerous ones:
Overthinking Everything on Social Media
Nothing makes us feel bad the way social media does. We’re always on our phones looking up the latest pictures of friends and idols, and we think, ‘why can’t I live that life?’ You try to avert your gaze but it’s too late, you’re already carried away by the fancy cars your friends are driving, the fancy clothes they’re wearing, the fancy house, fancy trips… you get the message.
If you only knew that not everything on social media is real or true, what a lot of time you could have spent doing something productive for yourself.
Well, now you do. Comparing your life to the life of others is never a feel-good situation. It pulls you away from the reality of life and makes you wish for things you could achieve by working for it. Forget what you see online. If you want to live a fancy life, you have to work for it, not wish for it. If you don’t, you could find yourself on the bandwagon buying things you don’t need and living above your means. In no time, you’ll be swimming in debt. You don’t want that, do you? Why not budget and save today? Nothing beats the feeling of having money in the bank.
Get off social media and live your life the best way you can.
No kidding; pornography has been proven by many researchers as the cause of many men’s depression. By watching the superfluous acts of porn actors, porn watchers get lost in the fantasy of sex is more than what it actually is. It’s gotten so bad to the extent that a lot of porn watchers can’t actually perform in bed. And that’s depressing, not being able to satisfy your woman.
If you want a relationship where your partner is happy, then you need to lay off pornography. We’ll be honest: porn and reality are two different things that don’t connect at all. You don’t need to watch a bunch of actors do the thing to get you excited. By focusing on your relationship and your partner, you could have a better sex life. One thing, we recommend about sex is that, if you absolutely need to keep a lady happy, you need to take care of her first, you second. A good sex life could be the key to your increase in confidence and positivism.
We recently published an article on the benefits and myths of the NoFap movement. Click here to check it out.
For a more in-depth look at this phenomena, read this article.
Being Insecure About Your Body
Back to the social media circus, nothing makes us body shame ourselves more than the freaking internet! Social media has made and continues to make so many physically good-looking men feel insecure about their bodies. It’s not uncommon for a perfectly fit person to scroll through pictures of bodybuilders on the gram and feel insufficient. This is by far one of the biggest habits hurting your confidence.
It’s punishment, and a handsome young man with a perfect body like you doesn’t need the self-loathe.
Give yourselves a break, man! You need to stop fussing about the pictures you see on the gram and get your body to the gym. The only way you’re ever going to feel good about your body is when you exercise. To be honest, you may even have a better body than most of the men you see online. The internet has been compromised yo! Most of what you see online may not be real.
Ever heard of Photoshop?
Being Critical of Your Height
Regardless of how tall you may be, everyone at some point in their lives has been absolutely critical of their height. There is always the fear of being too tall or too short lingering somewhere in the back of our minds. Short people are the most critical, however, as they feel intimated by, well, almost everyone.
But if you’re short, for a man, let’s say five feet and a couple inches, you don’t have to feel bad. I mean, why feel bad about a height you were born with and can’t change. Being short is not a handicap. Some people don’t even have limbs, yet are still super confident when they’re about in public. So what possible reason could you have to hate your height; none.
Being short isn’t the reason why you didn’t get the girl, the job or that deal. The only thing keeping you from your happiness is your inability to be happy with yourself. And that starts with loving the person you how, no matter how tall, small or fat you are.
Letting Other People’s Opinions Cloud Your Ideas
It’s sad but it’s the truth: society can be dangerous to a person’s belief about everything. Growing up, we listen to everyone’s opinions and form our ideas from it. However, in adulthood, we are more exposed to people’s opinions than ever, especially when it comes to the idea of success.
There are lots of negative people out there. In fact, a few negative words from someone you idolize can make you miserable for days. It doesn’t really matter what people feel or say about your dreams, if it makes you happy, go out there and make it happen. Because, at the end of the day, it’s not their life you’re living, it’s yours.
Let us know in the comments section which other habits hurting your confidence that we might not have included.
Modern Man Advice